Jerry, you need to find god
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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