we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Dick very happy bro
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