If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
