I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
