Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
