so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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