we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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