so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Randomize
