just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
