They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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