just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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