You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
