Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
