How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
