sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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