well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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