I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
