Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
