jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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