If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
