My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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