she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
