Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
