So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
