i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
