I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
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