Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
