In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
