Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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