we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
