We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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