Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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