Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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