I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize