When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
