I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
