You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize