i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
