The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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