ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
