She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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