I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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