I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize