wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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