I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
