Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
