it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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