Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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