i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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