you didnt know i had herpes?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize