Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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