Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
