Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
