i need an iv and a liver transplant
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
