the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
