Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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