Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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