hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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