That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize