the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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