Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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