You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
