meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
